How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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