ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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