I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
