oh god the rape fog is back!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize