just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
