It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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