READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
