If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
