We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
