so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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