Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
