in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
