I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
