she smelled like a LAN party
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
