Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
