i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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