her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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