He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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