addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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