Say something about gay babies.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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