I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
