it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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