I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
