ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize