Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
