butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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