just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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