Say something about gay babies.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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