I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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