remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
