The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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