Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We got so high we made milksteak
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
