My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
