Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
