No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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