Yo dont text me then not text me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
