covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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