My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
