I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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