You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
