And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
