a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Boobs are out for the taking
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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