I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
