You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
