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He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The adults are the big ones right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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