It's Friday. Sex?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize