She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
