so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize