we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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