Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
