So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
