ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize