who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
