Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
