he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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