The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
