Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
