i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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