I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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