I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
