So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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