my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
