he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
