her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
