I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Terrible idea I love it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
