I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need a beard to bite.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
