Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
