I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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