If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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