do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
