I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
